From The Book of Life:
Self-pity is wisely addressed not by condemnation but by the kind suggestion of better perspective and fair criticism: perhaps one did do something a little wrong, perhaps this won’t seem like such a problem, tomorrow morning… If this can be taken on board, then the need to ward off failure or to avoid responsibility is lessened. Self-pity no longer feels required. We learn through reassurance, not bracing reproof – however precise the condemnation may be
We do better when we’re not shouted at. Motivation for a lasting improvement never came from the outside.
It’s all inside: maladies and remedies.